Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize