sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
