Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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