I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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