I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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