fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
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Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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