this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
