Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
