we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
