wakey wakey hands off snakey
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he told me I talked like a deaf person
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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