Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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