I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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