I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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