Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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