Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
