So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
