I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize