She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
