Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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