He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
