How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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