That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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