if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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