After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
