he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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