Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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