If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
