i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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