Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
