I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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