Moan for me like Helen Keller
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
