So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
