I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
