I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
