now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
