still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
