why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
