i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
