Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
sex in a hospital.. check
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
