I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
