I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
