ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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