do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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