Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Randomize
