i need an iv and a liver transplant
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
