I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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