i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she told me i tasted like america
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
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They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
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are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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