I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
