I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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