If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
