last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
