You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
