So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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