it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
