Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
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I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
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I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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