Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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