I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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