If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize