worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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