The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
