im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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