So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I had to cum in my sink.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
