Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
